Friday, May 02, 2008

They Say Her Face Was White As Rain

I feel tired and washed out. I had an accident earlier today and it was totally my fault. I was having an angry conversation on the phone while negotiating a very busy roundabout and I suddenly felt the car jerk from impact. I had hit the car in front of me. I hastily got off the phone and chucked it on the co-driver's seat to confront the blazing eyes of a very irate mother. She had her two small kids in the car. If we hadn't been practically stationary, there may have been serious consequences to my stupidity.

We parked there, at one of the busiest roundabouts in the whole of Malaysia and she growled at me: "Why did you hit my car...why did you hit my car." It was a little Kancil and there was a slight dent at the boot. I didn't want to stand there arguing so I started to offer her money to settle it.

Thank goodness I had a few hundred in my wallet at the time (courtesy of Jackie) and figured that it would cost about at most RM150 if she chose to repair it. As she was interested in how the accident had come about, I was more interested in terminating the scene. I took out my wallet and gave her RM200. After a few more rhubarbs she got back into the car and drove off.

I was badly shaken and had to find my way to the place I was going. It was very hot on the outside, and I was a freaking geyser on the inside. I got to the place (an artist's house) and tried to make small talk. She gave me ice water which I downed and kept downing and she topped up my glass.

Everything felt hot and sticky and just plain awful.

I drove home after, not feeling all that much better.

Then I watched one of the Jane Austen DVDs Mary lent me - Persuasion - and somehow that simple gentle story, penetrated this black funk that pervaded my being.

Something has to give.

I hope it's the sky.

We could use some rain.

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