Somewhere Only We Know

Someone died. Someone I only really met once before and yet I was really, really sad. You know, you don't really think about them when they are out there, continuing to exist, but then one day, you pick up the paper, and there's a whoosh inside, like something falling, like rain in a dark place, and you think, o simple thing, where have you gone, I'm getting old and I need something to rely on...

We moved office today. I dragged Julie's suitcase to the old office and stuffed all my things, books, magazines, papers, documents, stationery, and lugged it to my car and thence to the new place. I got myself a little corner, anti-social, not that easily accessible. Nadia (Din Din) is sitting next to me...she likes the whole corner concept as well. She crawled under her desk and told me...hey Carol, it's comfortable, I could go to sleep here.

Someone asked me a terrifying question. I didn't know what to say, so I stammered and stalled and changed the subject.

A perfect day
A perfect night
tell me all those perfect lies
and lie back in the garden till it's light

And then I drove to Megamall to watch a movie but there was a jam and I was really terribly tired so I didn't join the jam but went on ahead, drove home and gave my father some fudge cake a colleague had made and the boss' PA had given me to take home since I liked it most.

Then I had some lunch and fell into a deep deep sleep. It rained. My father knocked on the door to tell me something. I didn't really hear what he said because I couldn't come up to the surface.

Julie came home. She knocked on the door. She took my key and moved the car.

I slept on.

Slow motion.

The streets are full up every night
with people buzzing round the lights
and waving at the taxies driving by
no tomorrows here today
and yesterday's todays just fade away

Sometimes I feel like I'm moving through amniotic fluid.

So tell me, are you happy?