Saturday, June 09, 2007

Somewhere Only We Know

Someone died. Someone I only really met once before and yet I was really, really sad. You know, you don't really think about them when they are out there, continuing to exist, but then one day, you pick up the paper, and there's a whoosh inside, like something falling, like rain in a dark place, and you think, o simple thing, where have you gone, I'm getting old and I need something to rely on...

We moved office today. I dragged Julie's suitcase to the old office and stuffed all my things, books, magazines, papers, documents, stationery, and lugged it to my car and thence to the new place. I got myself a little corner, anti-social, not that easily accessible. Nadia (Din Din) is sitting next to me...she likes the whole corner concept as well. She crawled under her desk and told me...hey Carol, it's comfortable, I could go to sleep here.

Someone asked me a terrifying question. I didn't know what to say, so I stammered and stalled and changed the subject.

A perfect day
A perfect night
tell me all those perfect lies
and lie back in the garden till it's light

And then I drove to Megamall to watch a movie but there was a jam and I was really terribly tired so I didn't join the jam but went on ahead, drove home and gave my father some fudge cake a colleague had made and the boss' PA had given me to take home since I liked it most.

Then I had some lunch and fell into a deep deep sleep. It rained. My father knocked on the door to tell me something. I didn't really hear what he said because I couldn't come up to the surface.

Julie came home. She knocked on the door. She took my key and moved the car.

I slept on.

Slow motion.

The streets are full up every night
with people buzzing round the lights
and waving at the taxies driving by
no tomorrows here today
and yesterday's todays just fade away

Sometimes I feel like I'm moving through amniotic fluid.

So tell me, are you happy?


Erratic Scribbler said...

All morning I've sat with a hot cup of coffee and my laptop. It's Saturday and I'm working. On my work. The sun is out. My laundered clothing is flapping on the line, and they will smell all week like Saturday morning sunlight and a lazy breeze. And even though I will never know what those things smell like, the thought of it makes me happy.

But that's just one little thing. Happiness is choosing to listen to music while you work.

And there's a simplicity in this: "Then I had some lunch and fell into a deep deep sleep. It rained." that makes me smile with the ghost of Hemingway looking over your shoulder there on the other side of the world.

Remember: before things got complicated, that fluid brought you everything you needed: food, shelter, and, yes, love.

Jenn said...

I smell your newly washed clothes flapping away in that breeze.

You're right of course.

Nearly always.

goldennib said...

I wanted to suggest that you look at the simple things and see their magic, but ES said it so much better than I.

I folded laundry this morning and called myself Princess. I washed dishes and thought myself Queen.

Jackie said...

This is a beautiful post, Jenn. I love how you write - it made me feel sort of like I was spending the day with you! :-)

Jenn said...

Nessa: Simple things...we keep reclaiming them and they keep slipping away...

Jackie: Thanks dear. You were.

Grey Shades said...

Could so realate to this post! Sigh!

Jenn said...

Grey: Could you? Strangers and friends. Weird concepts.

john calica said...

Hi Jenn, for the longest time I have been wondering why I am such a happy person. Once I figure things out, I'll drop you a line or two :)

Jenn said...

I'd sure like to know, you bundle of joy!