Wednesday, June 06, 2007

River of Dreams

Ignore me.

It's OK.

I still exist.

I breathe. A voice pushes through my throat.

Thin, reedy, but still a voice.

Maybe it is all a dream.

And then I'm at Hyde Park in Perth and it's midnight and an old doctor is telling me about his conquests at the nearby gazebo.

His conquests.

It's cold. I listen, a receiver of memories.

A blank slate, an empty page.

A park bench in Fremantle, I listen some more. She is telling me about her childhood in Ceylon and cruel husband.

I listen, I breathe.

A receiver of words.

They carve out their stories on my bones.

Ignore me. I'm not really here.

I'm floating on that leaf, wondering why beer smells so uninviting, watching the busker swallow fire as her words rise and fall.

Like fingers on a keyboard, light taps, and then silence.

Ignore me. I don't have a story to tell.

I'm here to listen.

A ghost you meet along the way.

I exist.

But I don't.

I don't.


ling said...

goldennib said...

I felt this way not too long ago; like I had no life of my own, a spectral being walking among the living, an automaton performing functions for the people around me.

Interestingly, Joseph Campbell is helping me. He is helping me understand that it is ok to make believe. I will live a myth, my myth. I will follow my bliss. Doing dishes, working here, laundry, these are only obstacles in my path to overcome on my way to the dragon and its horde of gold and gems.

Andy said...

Changed my blog address to: , if you still want to visit.

I will explain later.

Erratic Scribbler said...

i feel like this all the time.

but i find i have stories.

of things.

of my own bones.

my hair, my breathing.

my ocean.

that i don't.

and i do.

and that depending on how i tell it, the choice between the two is mine.

(and that the word ukulele makes me happy)

hot coffee girl said...

I am listening to you, my sweet girl. You exist to me, love.

Jenn said...

Ling: I can no longer get into your website no matter how hard I try.

Nessa: Joseph Campbell? I learned about him in Myth, Ritual and Magic. Will check it out after I finish reading about mutual funds. Urgh.

Andy: There is a story here...

ES: That last was so you. That's why you're a kindred spirit. Ukulele. Amalele Mobudu makes me happy.

HCG: Thanks Kels.

Lakeside Ling said...