Friday, May 07, 2010

Under Drifts Of Sand

Destiny means nothing.
You could lose the one you love
Misplace them
like a set of keys
and never quite find them again.

I was determined, so determined, the little will, the Big Will, fused together for once.

I was a raven.


Nevermore, I breathed.


Yet, every day, every day you are here, more present than the glass of water I hold in my hand, sweating little droplets of condensation, more present than the hum of the car beneath my feet as I force my way onto the roundabout shoving past cars that will not give way, because that's the way you do it, if you drive here.

You're here as I write. You're here as I speak. You're here as I inhale. You're here as I weep. You're trailing down my cheeks, salt tears from some eternal fount. You hurt my eyes. You catch in my breath. You're stuck in my chest.

And I ache.

I ache.

I keep aching.

I have misplaced you. I can't find you again. You're always at the edge of my consciousness, and when I turn around, you disappear.

I've forgotten that I left you behind. In fact, maybe it was you who left. And I've been looking for you for so long now.

But you're lost.

You're lost.

You're not there anymore.

You're lost.

Like me.

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