Saturday, October 22, 2005

The Churning

The thing to remember about Lisa is that she is not that type of girl. She has never gone up to a man she likes and asked him out. Even for a coffee. Usually she just gets this churning in her solar plexus that intensifies everytime he walks by. Once she almost fell over and had to go out for air. (God, how I wish I was kidding)

"Ask Ryan out, what's the worst that could happen?"

"He could say yes!'

"Come on! You're being facetious."

(We're both writing students. So we do use five dollar-words like facetious. Really!)

"No, really I'm not. If he agreed to go out with me, I'd spend all that time worrying about what I was going to say and how I was supposed to behave and even if it went really, really well, I'd worry about whether he actually likes me or if he is just being kind..."

"Chill sister, it's only a coffee. Look, I asked Charles out and he said yes. I had lunch with him and somehow that helped me to get to the other side. I am now officially over him."

Lisa reels for a moment. "You asked Charles out? On a date?????"

Let me explain her amazement. Charles is our lecturer. He is 60. We both think he's great, with a difference. Lisa thinks he's a nice (well actually, nice would be stretching it, maybe interesting?) guy while I am (actually, was) desperately in love with him.

"Well, it wasn't really a date. I mean, I am leaving after this semester and I asked if I could meet him for lunch once during the break. He said yes. So we had lunch. I asked him all the questions I wanted to and he answered. He was sweet but somehow it broke the spell. The churning in the pit of my stomach - that's gone."

Lisa looks terrified. She knows she is allowing herself to be talked into this crazy idea. But how can she go up to this guy she barely knows (but has a huge crush on, nonetheless) and ask him out?

Fast forward one day: We have both just come out of the theatre. It was a student performance of King Lear. Ryan played Edgar and we are both very impressed. He comes out from the actor's exit in jeans and a sleeveless t-shirt, nods at us, smiling, and prepares to leave.

Lisa asks: "Um Ryan, can I talk to you?"


I turn away. This is a private moment and I don't want to look. It's cold outside and I clutch my shawl around me, wondering how it is going. Oh God, what if he says no? Will she be OK? She really really likes this guy. I have never seen her act this way about anybody. Of course, I've only known her for a year or so.

Lisa joins me about five minutes later and I scan her face anxiously. She is smiling.


"No go. He has a girlfriend. I mean, he said yes to coffee but when I found out about the girlfriend, I begged off."

"Oh dear. I'm sorry. How do you feel?"

"Surprisingly good, actually. Like this weight has been lifted off. The churning's gone."

Yes. She felt the fear and did it anyway.

And that, as they say in Hollywood, is that.


geetu said...

jus dropped by.. accidentally.. but this post is like it was written for me! hehee.. ok not goin all corny.. but i have NEVER asked a guy out.. oh ya bunch of guys is cool.. but A guy!! :P nopes! ;-)

geetu said...

hey jenn!

thnx for visiting.. and thanx for the advise.. :D
take care..
gonna blogroll u.. :)

~Lil Nance ;> said...

Wow... Your writting blows me away!! I just stopped by after reading your comment on another blog I read. Just like geetu... I feel like you know me... hahahah!! I will be back to visit!!

stretch td said...

Saw your comment and had to check out your blog. Great writing!

Jenn said...

Golly gee, I have readers. Thanks Geetu and Nancy and Stretch. I feel all warm and tingly inside now. (I wonder how The Fake Doctor feels with his hundred or so comments on each post?)

stretch td said...

C'mon Jen, you knew you would pick up readers quick. In no time, 100s will be reading your posts. But, you probably know this from your non-anonymous blog site. I wondered if I've come across you before in my meandering through blog-land.

Jenn said...

Geez Stretch, I love you. I honestly do. Can we make wild passionate love at the back of a car? As for my sorta non-anonymous website, I don't think you have. I have to be so ridiculously proper there (as friends and family have the link) so it is just experiments in different writing styles. And lots of poetry. Who in their right mind would read poetry?

stretch td said...

... and your wild side is just dying to bust out? This should be fun.