Thursday, October 20, 2005

Women: The New Men

"You know what they say. Women are the new men, hahahahahaha," DB laughed like it was the most hilarious thing in the world. Except that it wasn't. Not for him. His wife had left him for another woman (yes, it does happen outside FRIENDS) and now she was happily partnered while he was negotiating for space in his large double bed with his cat and dog. He was not frustrated, perish the thought! He was peaceful.

Women, the new men? I wondered. For as long as I could remember, we were chastised for being clingy, needy and demanding. Now it seems that most of the cool chicks I knew were happy to be alone, with a casual lover or two for physical gratification (or a really good vibrator, who can tell the difference?)

Take Eileen, for instance. She refers to love as the "L" word and marriage as the "M" word. If any man is stupid enough to mention either during sex, she stops, adjusts her perfect hair, and, to not put to a fine point on it, kicks his sorry ass out. She has a kid she picked up along the way and she may pick up another one. But no man. None. And that's the way she prefers to keep it.

Or Dawn. She's 65. Her boyfriend, 55. But she refuses to move in with him. She does her own stuff, goes her own way and tells him to stuff it when he gets overly sentimental.

Or Theresa, the coolest dudette I used to know, who succumbed to familial pressure and acquired the requisite suitable husband and kid. While she loves her kid, she laments her lost wings and finds motherhood severely "overrated". When she met my (admittedly unimpressive) fiance, she took me aside: "Don't let them fool you. You don't need to get married. Don't make the same mistake..."

DB said women were "afraid of commitment". That they were "not in touch with their feminine side". Independence, of course, being unfeminine.

"So how do you figure," I asked. "All this time, we were told to hide our feelings, be tough, build our own lives so we were not leeching on yours. I mean, how would you like a woman who called 20 times a day to ask if you loved her?"

"What's wrong with that? I mean, it's nice to know you're needed. I mean we don't even feel you need us anymore."

Damn straight, buster! We don't! And if you need to be needed, that's your problem. I could recommend a good therapist.

"But before, it was about boundaries and reining in emotion. And we got pretty darn good at it. And now that's a problem?"

"Yes, that's a problem. For Chrissake, it wouldn't hurt to show some estrogen!"

"Fuck you! We don't need you. We will never need you again. Deal with it!"

DB and I glared at each other, breathing heavily. (Cue weepy violins)

"So you wanna?"

"Huh? OK by me."

"My place or yours?"


Anonymous said...

i like your blog. refreshing.

Iain Mirze said...

....and another absorbing blurb. That, and I love Dawn.

Has said...

Of course, women are the new men, or rather one woman equals to two men, ha, ha, ha, sorry guys.

Researches are looking into this, the superiority of X gene, where woman has two and man has one, the Y gene is tiny and eroded version of X, and only the Src gene is useful, the one that determines the male genital system developement.

In the past scientist thought that one of female X gene has to be dormant for the female to function, evidence pointing to the contribution of the other X gene, thus women's traits of perserverance, empathy, flexibility etc.

Because of this, it is predicted that by 2020, women will control the world economy.

Look at our universities, in a classroom, usually there are 2/3 to 3/4 females. The similar proportion of males are in one particular institution, i.e serenti.

I am not a feminist, just sharing some of the findings I have read.