Tuesday, October 25, 2005

40-year old virgin

I just watched the movie and it surprised me in many ways. I mean, you would think a 40-year old (male virgin) would have a stash of porn, masturbate continuously and be gagging for it. Instead, this guy had "hobbies" (no, not that kind, get your head out of the gutter), cooked elaborate meals and was very respectful of women. When he finally got into a relationship he held off on sex. When he was hit on by a skanky chick, he decided that he could not have sex with a woman he didn't respect. In short, this guy went against every stereotype of male virgins that I had built up in my head.

My view on male virgins was formed by a man I dated who was practically a virgin. Practically, not technically. He had never been kissed until he was 31. Little known fact: When you have sex with hookers (he had to get rid of his virginity somehow) you don't get to kiss. Yeah, he had his porn stash and his desperado stories. Women ran when they found out that their meetings were considered dates, and that he wanted to go further.

In university, he sneaked into the girls' toilet and wrote his name and phone number on the wall, along with, "wanna have some fun, call..." Needless to say, it didn't work. He considered joining the newly-formed Bonking Society in his uni, but desisted because it would have been too embarrassing. Instead he wrote long diatribes about the free sex indulged in by other students in the uni newspaper, earning him a few enemies who yelled as he passed by: "Hey loser, get that carrot out of your ass!"

So he played the odds and went all out to get laid without having to pay for it. No, not even the price of a date, because he always went dutch on dates. Once he "broke the curse", it was like all hell broke loose. He wrote a blog entry entitled: "Power" where he shared his newfound sexual magnetism with faithful readers.

"Where before I couldn't get a date to save my life, now all I have to do is have dinner with a woman and she falls desperately in love with me."

What can I say? Women are stupid. I know. I speak from experience.

3 comments:

stretch td said...

Damn bots. Going to have to put a "lock" on your blog. :(

~Lil Nance ;> said...

I have'nt seen the movie yet but heard it was humorous! Just makes you wonder how many people there are out there in that age range that are virgins? Especially after reading your post... my mind is really going!

Jenn said...

Hey Stretch. Thanks. How do I do that? And Nancy, you should go see it. It's not as cliched as you would think. I mean, the guy was so endearing it was hard to believe that he would be allowed to remain a virgin.