As I was deleting email

 I found an old email I had sent my colleagues to thank them for their support when my mother lay dying. I wanted to preserve it some place. Why not here?

My dear colleagues,

I want to thank you so much for the flowers and the pak kum you sent when my mother passed away. More than the things in itself, it was the thought behind the thing. I know you've been covering for me, and my absence was a huge inconvenience but you guys never bugged me while I was there so I could be with my mother, with a clear conscience.

In fact, I spent a lot of time on the last day with her, and was the last among my family to see her alive, talk to her, kiss her goodnight.

I cannot even begin to tell you what all this means to me. I am still processing the loss and still (fortunately) in a state of limbo which allows me to function semi normally...which is good because I intend to pick up where I left off and be a fully functioning member of the team.

I know it's weird to write all this rather than tell you in person. But I was always better at writing what matters than saying it. When I talk, I tend to focus on unimportant inanities.

I feel like sending this off to y'all at 3 in the morning (when I'm sure, like all the mornings before this) I will still be awake so we don't all have to be embarrassed by this display of emotion (being good Malaysians we like to keep it inside and learn how to hide our feelings) but I shall send it to  you now, when you're all busy trying to complete stories while I while away the time, surfing the net (sorry Anna, but no interviews to transcribe yet) and writing vague unsatisfactory emails to people who promised interviews sometime maybe at some future date not specified.

It looks like rain. (Elaine, you can do a little dance, here while Anna, we can continue nonetheless, squishing through puddles and SHOW her).

I would end with an appropriate poem...

She was a phantom of delight when first she gleamed upon my sight a lovely apparition sent to be a moment's ornament..

or

She walks in beauty like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies and all that's best of dark and bright meet in her aspect and her eyes....

or

Out of the night that covers me black as the pit from pole to pole I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul

or

the quality of mercy is not strained it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath...

or

I've run out of quotations and Anna has just called to say let's go walkies now.

Love,

Jennifer/Jenny/Jenn or all em fancy derivatives