Sunday, January 11, 2009

Recipe for a Disaster That Never Happened or Have You Heard From Jackie?


Time on your hands
An active imagination
Indian (Malayalee preferred) blood
A healthy diet of soap operas, Brazilian or Indonesian for choice
Tears of sorrow and regret. (optional)


1. Have a slight deviation from the ordinary. (i.e. Jackie fails to make her customary weekend call to the folks).

2. Then hear from equally drama queen husband who insists something must have happened to her.

3. Read news about how people are freezing to death in England. Add a little active imagination.

4. Disturb youngest daughter's ahimsa state by constant calls (Have you heard from Jackie? Has she replied your email? Did you SMS her?)

5. Worry.

6. Worry some more.

7. Just a little more worry and you're nearly done.

8. Mix all ingredients together in a copper bowl until light and frothy.

9. Here is where you can add the tears, if you want. Throw in memories of Jackie as a chubby toddler with unruly curls and a gap-toothed smile for added effect. Cue sad music from your soap of choice.

10. Work yourself up to a STATE.

11. Stir in panic.

Serve hot.

No comments: