Tuesday, November 01, 2011

When My Life Needs A Spring Cleaning...

...the first thing I get rid is you.

It amazes me that some people make a lot of effort to reconnect (when I don't want to, rightly considering them vexations to the spirit, the kind that Max Ehrmann told us to avoid, who will annoy me terribly some time down the road) and then, voila, what do you know...they live down to expectations.

You're probably saying I shouldn't have had those expectations in the first place, right? That it was a self-fulfilling prophecy? Or that I should have just stuck to my guns and ignored the begging, grovelling apologetic letter and just blocked all access and addresses?

Never mind.

These kind of things help to strengthen my resolve.

So it's going to be delete and block on Facebook.

And root out emails over here and put email address on the block list.

That should do for now.

Life is short. I don't need these type of bastards in it.


s said...

Dear Jenn -

I do not know if your most recent posting was in regards to me and the message I sent yesterday [see below], but I will tell you that I'm writing you from bed [whilst at my parent's home] on my computer.

This is significant as my father has just left my room after tears and shouting because I am in the throes of profound transformation:

There has been profound violation, shall we say, throughout our history involving - both my sister and - myself where I adopted the "flight" coping technique - and my sister the "fight" response.

Regardless, I, as you know, fled halfway around the world to find what I considered happiness and safety. And create a life on my own.

However, BOTH my parents have sought to bring me back into the familial fold and I am SPRING CLEANING MY LIFE to heal abuses long past.

I hid from my family for a very long time and yes, I am going to much effort to reconnect with them; despite what has transpired.

Nevertheless, privacy and integrity are very important to me, and my friends, equally so.

The fact that my parents have been facebooking friends on my facebook list has been odd and concerning.

I did not confront them as some friends were gracious and added them "as friends". Yet, when you wrote me about the situation directly as being "impolite", I realized I could not "hide" the fact that I perceived it as another "violatory" - albeit subtle - invasion and thus confronted them.

I am being unusually open and transparent regarding this situation, as when I read your posting on Nov.1, I thought it a result of my communication with you.

Perhaps not?

While this could be in response to someone else, or a coincidence, if your writing was in regards to me, please know I value you, your friendship, your connection and your writing.

Yet these circumstances [including your most recent post] are quite painful to me at the moment.

Best Wishes -
Shelly Browning

from s browning unwhooz@gmail.com
sender-time Sent at 12:18 PM (GMT-04:00). Current time there: 6:32 PM. ✆
to Jennifer Jacobs
date Tue, Nov 1, 2011 at 12:18 PM
subject Facebook
mailed-by gmail.com
hide details Nov 1 (2 days ago)

Dear Jenn -

I've just logged onto my australia.edu account and saw a facebook posting from you. [I log onto the australia account about once a month.]

You brought to my attention that my mother has been facebooking many of my friends. My father prodigiously follows fb under my mother's account.

And I do not know if he has been facebooking my friends [under Mom's account] or if so, WHY he - or she - would do so. However, as perhaps you know, I have a quite challenging history regarding privacy [or the lack thereof] with my family.

So, I apologize for any inappropriate - or impolite - behaviour on my parents behalf.

Please feel free to deny access to my mother's account.

Or better yet - if you feel so inclined - write her (and thus my father) and let them know your thoughts and insights [NBROWNING1@aol.com] regarding this subject.

Know that I am working on healing my challenging dynamics with my parents as we speak. [I left NYC and am currently staying with them following my father's surgery.......] and your message assisted in solidifying some very powerful issues that were/are important and I've been afraid for much of my life to voice and bring to the fore.

Thank you.

Appreciatively -

*PS....May this find you well.

I'll have to log onto your blog, as I have not done so recently.

Jenn said...

Hi Shel,

How could you EVER think this was about you? I adore you and value your friendship and would never even dream of writing this about you.

It was about someone who used me when his girlfriend had dumped him and he was in the throes of a suicidal despair, (to lean on) and then discarded me once she was back.

I was mad as hell...and I've deleted him from Facebook and blocked future attempts at communication. I couldn't block him on the phone so he sent me two texts, but I'm not interested in reading anything from him, so I deleted them without reading.

Some people just give you a bad feeling that you can't rightly explain, but you should never ignore it. There's something not quite right with them.

As for your mom's friend request...i didn't find it impolite..i said that sometimes I was impolite on my FB...meaning that if someone like your mother was on it...she may be offended. You misunderstood what I said.

I never realised how much you had gone through and that you were hiding out in Perth from them. We must talk...soon.