Tuesday, August 26, 2008

A Bellyful of Maggots

You see it's the extent of the treachery that gets to me. It's like the Dutch boy has removed his finger from the hole in the dyke. The trickle becomes a flow, the water gushes forth, the hole expands, the dyke collapses.

There is a flood. We are overwhelmed. We drown.

I'm drowning now. In all the lies you told me. I can't even seem to get my head around them.

Was there even the slightest semblance of truth in all this mendacity?

Each lie, like a maggot in my belly, eating away at me. And truth, like methylated spirit, to kill each maggot. But oh, does it sting. Each maggot killed feels like a tearing, a severance. I was cuddling my maggots, they took refuge inside me, my bastard children.

Lies, like tumours.

Lies, like festering sores.

Lies, like that look in your eyes.

I just don't understand why you would make all this effort. I'm not worth it. Really. And now, you're on the phone harrassing me. Constantly. Now that I don't want to speak to you.

You don't know, do you? You don't know just how much I know. And who told me. And how you now appear, a dimunitive figure, just sad and ridiculous.

Evil is, as it ever was, privative.

A lack of something.

A hole in the air.

An absence.

You shrink in front of my eyes. You become less and less. You turn to shadow.

While I keep vomitting maggots.

6 comments:

Dark Angel said...

so you did write the maggot story :)

Jenn said...

I did. (bows head humbly) Mea culpa.

Dark Angel said...

Bravo, broavo, standing ovation here for Ms. Jacobs :)

john calica said...

Whoa pretty heavy stuff here.

You are at your most poetic when you're mad. Which is both a gift (for us your readers) and a curse (for your soul)

Keep flowing, my friend!

Jenn said...

Where have you been my friend? Yes, I alternate between grief stricken and angry and furious and sad and angry...you get the picture...and extreme emotion always gets me writing...

john calica said...

Oh my oh my. I've been running around town doing one hundred and one tasks. I demand that my hours be longer than the usual folks so I can do the things that I like...