Friday, July 21, 2006

The moving finger blogs

Assert: Infinite Jest is a good book.

Prove
: Justin thinks so. He said: "I really like it."

Explain
: It's about addiction and like really arty movies that make no sense or make sense in an obscure sort of way. You need a dictionary (preferably OED) for like, every page, and you need to read the footnotes as you go along. Everything is extremely ironic, which means you cannot take it seriously or IDENTIFY. The writer forces a distance between the reader and text. (I would tell you what Justin thinks, but he didn't tell me, other than that he really, really liked the book)

What do you think? First paragraph in a really scintillating essay?

Anyway, that's not what I came here to talk about. I don't exist when I'm drunk so just ignore whatever doesn't make sense and I'll make it up to you someday with muffins or rendang or vindaloo (take your pick).

I'm actually not drunk because it would be stupid to drink when I feel like crap cos that would hinder my get welling. Also I have important meeting with grey-haired VIP whom I have to brief on how to respond to the press when they get snarky. (Nod, smile, prevaricate. Don't antagonise or be antagonised)

I had another meeting this morning, in which I intended to blow the guy off (you want to pay peanuts, get monkeys, freelance doesn't mean free) but he was desperate and I felt sort of sorry for him.

Also, he was open to negotiation.

He talked about "building relationships".

Can someone tell me what that means? I am too superficial and short term to understand.

Before meeting with "building relationships" guy, I received a very important business phone call.

Important caller: Um hi Jenn, this is Sharon, you called yesterday?

Me: Yes.

Sharon (who doesn't really know me from Eve, I met her for a short time at a bar and got her card. Long story.): Right. How can I help you?

Me: Are you free on Wednesday?

Sharon (doubtfully): Yes, why?

Me: I have arranged a meeting for you with a contact. Possible financier. Told him about your value proposition (sic). He agreed to meet you.

Sharon (after short silence): Who did you say you were again?

Me (with flourish that can't be seen over phone): They call me the hook-up girl! Pleased to be of service ma'am.

I then rode off into the sunset. (Except that it was 10 in the morning and other than haze which makes the sun look sunsetty at all times of day, there was no sunset)

So as you can see, I am on the mend. Thank you to all those who wrote expressing concern. Big hug and sloppy kisses. Of course I read everything like every day, because I couldn't stay away from the blogs, not even when I felt like death warmed up.

Quilly, is this addiction? Do I qualify for Blogaholics Anon?

Do we 12-step our way to mental health?

PS: I watched Seinfeld yesterday and Elaine mentioned Malaysia twice. It was apparently an exotic destination where she bought this really cool pair of frames (as in spectacle frames). To piss of an ex-boyfriend who thought he was the only one with said frames. I was so chuffed. (Yes, PTB, I'm taking the piss)

9 comments:

QuillDancer said...

Jenn, at Blog Surfers Anonymous (http://b-s-anon.blogspot.com) my friends and I actually PROMOTE blog surfing .... (please look at our sire url carefully. There is a bit of irony there (Justin doesn't have an exclusive patient -- though he is better at it than I.)

SO -- yes you quallify as an addict. Welcome to my world!

furyouhin said...

"Building relationships" has, in my experience, been a code phrase for "Please do this project for me at a cut-rate and in the future I'll be sure to remember to send all my budget-less projects to you."

I think your first instinct was right about him.

Grey Shades said...

Agree with Fury! Thats what my boss told me when I was joining Frost. Unfortunately I was too naive that time! And my pick is Vindaloo! :) Hope you are feeling better now?

Jenn said...

Quilly: OK then it's not for me. I need some sort of intervention as I feel myself going over the edge with this whole blogging thing. My name is Jenn and I am a blogger. It started small, maybe a post here, a post there, a few sites on my blogroll, and then I started to check them obsessively - up to 5,000 times a day (restless shuffling as other bloggers begin to IDENTIFY). Finally my pets died of malnutrition and the smell drove my neighbours to get the police to break down my door. They had to PRY me away from my computer screen where I was commenting on a post about Sukkuks (yes, believe me, it is a word). Now I want to say I am so thankful to be here, and if it's not too much trouble, would you give me your URLs? And take mine down?

Jenn said...

Fury: Yeah. Building relationships. But you know, we settled on more than three times what he originally offered. So it was OK. With the idea that it be revised upwards once the company is successful. Even if it isn't, that's a pretty good rate.

Grey: You can't eat vindaloo you vegetarian you! Vindaloo is, loosely translated, pickled meat. I'll make you the desserts instead OK?

part-time buddha said...

'Building relationships' - this is work lingo, similar to 'learning experience', in which you and another person have meeting or otherwise deal with each other even though you'd prefer never to be in the same room together. The idea is that by spending time together now, later you'll find each other more tolerable, therefore making for a more copacetic workplace. Ironically (Justinally?), both of you know damn well that the idea is a steaming crock of shit.

man I hate work lingo.

and I'm not taking the piss.

Jenn said...

You're not? OK.

That is a very good explanation and I will consider it carefully.

Building relationships, hmmmmm, building relationships.

Grey Shades said...

Oh! And here I was under the impression Vindaloo is a punjabi dish with lotsa potatoes and spice in it! Anyway dessert works fine for me! :) And Yayyy! they've removed the blog ban!

Jenn said...

Oh wow. That is SOOOOO cool. When our idiots impose a ban, they stick to it with the tenacity of the very very dumb.