Thursday, May 25, 2006

An Alternative Ad

A while ago a friend sent me a few hilarious marriage ads from newspapers in India. I wish I still had them so you could see. Being extremely busy at the time (I had at least three assignments due) of course, I took the time off to dash off an ad of my own. (I usually write poems and read Jane Austen as part of my study avoidance strategies). This is what I came up with:

I am a simple girl with blue hair and purple eyelashes. Sometimes I like to fly in the face of the full moon. It is nice and silver. I like colours and the lack of it. If you have similar interests (or colouring) please write.

If not, look out of your window on full moon nights.

I usually fly naked.

12 comments:

Erratic Scribbler said...

I once stole a line from a song and posted that I was looking for a plastic-crowned Cinderella.

I receive what I consider to be a disturbing number of responses.

Jenn said...

Nice.

If you posted an ad for a real-life Bridget Jones you would probably have received plenty of responses too.

Susanna said...

now, you're making me wish I could see the Indian marriage ads!

Jenn said...

Yes. Sad that you can't. They were hilarious. It actually makes more sense reading my ad if you see what it was in response to.

These little trials are sent to try us.

We must be brave.

Erratic Scribbler said...

I might be happy with a real life Bridget Jones as long as Renee Zellweger doesn't show up.

David Cho said...

So did you get any hits?

Jenn said...

PTB: Yeah, I think Bridget is adorable. Exasperating at times, but adorable.

Message: Kisses? From a stranger? I blush.

David: No. Sadly not. I should have sent it to myself. I would have definitely answered. My friend said she was willing to fly with me but she would keep her clothes on. I told her the only way to fly was unencumbered.

Oh these monosexuals!

Andrew said...

Back in college, I often picked up the weekly "alternative" newspaper and read it cover to cover. Why? No. 1: It was often entertaining. No. 2: It's free.

Once, I answered a personal ad. Once. She said she liked books, movies and trying new restaurants. I like the same thing, so, hey, why not?

Ten minutes into our phone conversation, she told me she wanted to drink a cup of my blood.

As I said, I answered a personal ad---once. Once.

(P.S. The blood-drinking wasn't as bad as you would think. Kidding.)

Jenn said...

Andy: Hilarious! I can believe you did it once, and just once. There are some crazies out there. Like me. That was what I was going for... how come no one wants to check out this crazy, huh? I mean come on, purple eyelashes, witch-like tendencies...completely amoral...(flying naked and suchlike)...what is everyone (male or female, I'm not fussed) waiting for?

David Cho said...

So by reposting the ad, is it in effect now? I want pictures.

Nessa said...

Jenn:

I would most definitely fly naked with you on a moonlit night, dance in the dewdrops.

We could skim the tree tops with our iridescent painted toenails and sing at the top of our lungs, even off key.

Jenn said...

David: No. If you read it carefully you would see that no match is possible. No pictures. Except really funky nude ones. And I am sure you wouldn't want to see those.

Nessa: Sounds wonderful. :) I actually used to sing at the top of my lungs with a good friend in the middle of the street. We would sing "We are Siamese if you please..."