How long is a piece of string?

 

In the daytime I feel fine and things cohere. A little tired but fine. It's at night that everything starts to unravel, everything starts to shred and I feel myself come undone. 

I think that maybe, that maybe, I am two different people. One person occupies the day and another arrives to take over the night.

And she makes the switch when I am not looking, before I realise.

But when I look again, I realise that this familiar sadness is back and that it overwhelms and I stand before it, helpless, abandoned, alone.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know how to face these phantoms in my head, in my mind, in my body, in my apartment, who swirl, who swirl, who keep swirling so I can't pin them down, can't look one in the eye and say, I know you, you are you, you are you, you are you, this is here and now, this image is DEFINITE!

Who are you?

What do you want from me?

Haven't you taken enough?

I have nothing left to give you.

Please

Please

Please

Let me be.