Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Maybe tomorrow

It's a dismal Christmas I'm seeing in this year by myself. Funny but today, of all days of the year, I feel truly alone. All that frenzied running around,  'doing Christmas' with various people, all for nothing.

Doesn't change the fact that I'm truly alone.

Doesn't change the fact that I choose to be here by myself rather than in a house full of people.

I put Arnold in my lap and stroked him for a while but he seemed uneasy and eventually he pulled away.

I have only enough energy to scan the acres of nothingness that is my life. The life I chose. The life characterised by negation.

Maybe tomorrow. Things will be different. In spite of it all.

No comments: