Hi Jennifer,
Here's an astonishing fact you may never have considered: Your level of personal happiness throughout your life will depend upon your ability to completely forgive those who have hurt or offended you.
In point of fact, the emotional-spiritual skill of forgiveness is critical to becoming a resilient person, to acting effectively and to your physical and emotional health. And it is indeed a skill that can be learned by anyone, though it may seem terribly difficult to do at times.
4 comments:
Ah. The art of forgiveness is never easy. Sometimes it comes quickly, in a loud rush that knocks you off your balance. Other times it burns slow, takes it's time, until you wake up one morning and no longer feel angry, no longer have resentment. It's like this terrible weight has been lifted off of your heart. A weight you didn't really notice until it was gone.
I do think it is a skill that can be learned by anyone, no matter how harsh the offense. But the trick, I think, is you need to want to forgive. No matter how much time goes by, no matter how often you tell yourself you *should* forgive, unless you want to, really want to, I don't think it will ever actually happen.
Darn. Guess I'll have to go cut down all those wriggling burlap sacks I've got trussed up in the basement. Just kidding... :)
TR has it right, though. I'd be lying if I said there weren't a fair dozen that I'd rather see writhing at the end of a chain than out cavorting amongst the daisies, but holding on to that anger indefinitely limits your own opportunities to feel a lasting sense of peace about the world and your place in it. Now, if only I had a better track record of taking my own advice...
I go more the freezing coldness way myself. Pretending the person no longer exists and not seeing them when they pass in front of me.
I just unloaded a whole lot of resentment to a good friend who listened patiently.
Now I'm going to have to work on forgiving. (Although I don't think forgiving involves allowing yourself to be taken advantage of)
PS: I like the idea of wriggling burlap sacks in the basement - it adds so many new dimensions to you!
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