It's a dismal Christmas I'm seeing in this year by myself. Funny but today, of all days of the year, I feel truly alone. All that frenzied running around, 'doing Christmas' with various people, all for nothing.
Doesn't change the fact that I'm truly alone.
Doesn't change the fact that I choose to be here by myself rather than in a house full of people.
I put Arnold in my lap and stroked him for a while but he seemed uneasy and eventually he pulled away.
I have only enough energy to scan the acres of nothingness that is my life. The life I chose. The life characterised by negation.
Maybe tomorrow. Things will be different. In spite of it all.
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