There's some drama going on with the alleged victim of domestic violence and for now, I'm trying to avoid knowing what it is. She sent me a text saying she was very very sorry, but her new company only pays out commissions on a quarterly basis, so as much as she would have liked to pay me back instantly, well, no can do. Could I wait till June?
Sigh.
And in case that wasn't appealing enough, she said her present salary was just enough to cover her baby's needs.
Look, not like I'm bugging her or anything. I have refrained from harassing her, and I know that if left to just the two of us, she would conveniently forget she has a debt (she's a user and that's what users do. Honour forsooth! And I'm too lazy to come down heavy on users when I'm just so grateful that they're not in my life anymore and I don't have to deal with them again) but two of my other friends are involved and one of them at least, is hounding the life out of the poor martyr. She lent the martyr money as well (in her case, the woman asked, nay, begged) and after getting daily doses of just how awful martyr's life was, was prevailed on to say:
"Never you mind about what you owe me. Put it on the backburner. You concentrate on sorting your life out."
Humph.
When it clicked that martyr was:
(a) as hard as nails, really, and a survivor; and
(b) simply making use of us.
my friend was baying for blood.
But the whole thing seems to have gotten out of hand. I don't know what transpired yesterday because the cough mixture knocked me out and I was sleeping like, the WHOLE day, only waking up late at night for dinner and after that unable to go to sleep again. But when I checked my phone close to midnight there were two missed calls and no less than seven messages. SEVEN!
Most of them hinting at some big thing that had happened while I was snoring away peacefully. A fight? A showdown? Was blood drawn? Unforgivable words thrown at each other?
All, mind you, via the weird and wonderful SMS system.
Am glad I missed out on the drama but not too keen to find out what's been happening because you can be sure it will be sordid and ugly and the way I'm feeling now, I don't have the energy to deal with sordid and ugly.
Oh well, I'll keep you posted.
4 comments:
I don't lend money. I either give it away or say no I don't have any to give.
I used to step into the middle of many domestic violence situations often putting myself in physical danger. I no longer do so. I have found, sadly, that most "victims" do not do anything to help themselves and continuously go back to the danger.
I do not get involved in dramas either. The wacky things some people get involved in are just too draining and if they really wanted something different they would try to make changes.
I get what you mean about not lending money. I do, but usually only to very good friends and that too, only when I'm flush with cash because then I don't really care if they pay me back or not. We've been figuring out the martyr's modus operandi and now I realise that her real "emergency" was that she was out of money and needed to knock one of us up for some cold hard cash. My other friend having said, no, that's it, don't ask me again, I was the only one she could turn to. I've told myself again and again not to fall for it when someone needs something in a hurry, but when a fake crisis occurs, there I am in the midst, waving my non-existent money, saying, take it, please take it...let me help you!
Some people are just born SUCKERS I guess.
As for domestic violence situations, I now have the number of a shelter and the ONLY help I will offer from here on forth would be to drive said victim to the shelter. Nothing more. Nothing less.
You are not a sucker!
Someone told me once that when you give or help you do it because you are a good person and do it with love and care.
If the other person isn't receiving in the same manner, they are defective but it is NOT a reflection on you.
If you give, give freely with out expectation on how it is received. This has helped me.
Your gift, if given with joy, is valuable thus making you valuable. This way of thinking also makes it easier for me to say no.
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