Saturday, June 15, 2019

Who Doesn't

Ideally we shouldn't be willing to carry anyone. It doesn't matter whether they are light or heavy. And some people start out light (as if testing their weight on you) and then, just get heavier and heavier. And they keep adding weight until your arms break.

Or your back.

That's how heavy.

And if they've got you psyched into this strange relationship of gratitude, always emphasising or underlining how much you owe them (it doesn't have to be obvious, it can also be subtle cues), it's even worse, because every time you're mad at something they said or did, you'll feel guilty and pull back on your reaction because, they didn't really mean it; because, they have a good heart; because, you owe them so much.

They've got a good game going and if they're particularly needy, you're the perfect doormat friend, especially if they know what buttons to push. And when.

But sometimes, if you're lucky, they cross the line. They finally exhibit their ugliness all at once in a way where you cannot ignore what you've known all along, seen all along, chose not to see all along. Sometimes you're trapped with them and you cannot escape and then, you think, GET OUT OF MY SPACE! I HATE YOU! FROM NOW ON, I'LL HAVE AS LITTLE TO DO WITH YOU AS POSSIBLE!

And when you go back to life as usual, everything about them jars on you. Things that used to be mildly irritating (so mild that you hid it from yourself) have now become unbearable.

The sight of their face is enough to provoke your upchuck reflex. The sound of their voice somewhere in the vicinity evokes such disgust that you stare at the screen fixedly, not turning around, not smiling, not inviting a hello, a time-wasting conversation.

And now, you're no longer willing to listen, to hang out, to spend the time of day.

And when you hear they're taking your name all over town, you sigh in relief. The leftover guilt dissolves. You realise that they actually are a horrible person, a liar to boot, not a friend.

And truth will always out. Even if they run around misrepresenting you to the hilt, let's take a look at who has friends.

And who doesn't.

Who doesn't.

Who doesn't.

Yeah, that's right.

Who doesn't.

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